complains my heart, almost begging me.
“… or don’t. Go on. Do next thing.” my mind mumbles and calling me back to work.
I haven’t written a post like this in a long time. A rant, I mean. Everything on my blog other than tech is basically a rant. The reason why I don’t write these anymore because these posts need time, dedication for staying on topic and a desire to not sound too meaningless, or philosophical. I will try to keep this one short and sweet. Wish me luck.
So, the 2nd year of my life’s awesome set of years has gone by like when the taste of chocolate vanishes before it melts in your mouth and you instantly start craving for even more chocolate.
That’s me. Right now.
A lot has happened in these last four months. I sure did/do a lot some say. Some say I am on the right path of progress. Some say, my life is set as to say. Some say this is enough. Here, my heart whispers in my ear “Bruh, slow down. Introspect on your journey. Look after yourself, look how far you have come. Enjoy the moment … or at least pretend to.”
Have I come far? Have I come far enough. My mind keeps fighting over this. Let’s break it down even further.
What if … it is too soon to decide. Or I am probably too young to decide. Who are they to say that? Is the most general/ignorant conclusion that most people would draw. Me being no different does the same. But let’s go a step further.
In the last four months, looking back I have grown alot. Progressed alot. Not on paper, well yes more on paper than I would have hoped. But also as a human being, as a senior, as friends to others. Found some great people along the way, weeded out bad people, found love (or I think I did), found what respect feels like. Realised how bitter failure is and how sweet and warm victory is when you get the thing you dream of ( Philosophical, I told you so. )
Getting into GSoC has been my aim since I first heard of it and now after accomplishing it. I still feel hungry for more. This could be accounted for my passion for being successful or just dumb ambition. Getting too ambitious is also a wee bit dangerous, I know that. Apart from that, I started writing for some new organizations/blogs. Volunteering and participating more in open-source (GitHub and GitLab) Started 30 days of code at HackerRank. Started working for PyCon India for this year too. Maintained a project, got it built for a new upcoming community with some juniors. Volunteered at great conferences. Trying to be more regular at the meetups and inside the community but then becoming less active in class. Expanding my circles, working on my network. Spending more time on Twitter rather than Facebook than on books and notes for Theory for Computation. Picking up new languages like Linux, Android, Go etc. Working on my side projects. Getting more time on public speaking…. and these are just the things that I remember I have been doing.
I still think I don’t do enough. Force of habit, you can call it. If you train your mind, to always be under pressure. Then it would eventually work faster, and eventually, be always stressed. This has always worked out great for me ( Fun Fact – I never had a headache for about the 20 years I have been on this planet. Not once. )
And that helps me wake every day with a thirst to accomplish my next big thing on the tracker. So to everybody who worries and says to slow down. I say.
“I don’t like slowing down, don’t want to either.”
College is where we can try out life, in whatever ways we like. Just like the clothes you try before you buy at a mall. After that, who knows what is going to happen or if the jeans you bought will fit you or not. I am pretty sure I am not spending it behind a desk despising myself of not doing things that I always wanted to do.
Live in the mix guys. Here’s a random gif for you all.